Helping Children’s Problems using Psychotherapy, Hypnotherapy, Cognitive Therapy at 1066 Therapy
covering East Sussex, Battle, Hastings, Bexhill, Rye, Heathfield, Hailsham, Eastbourne, Crowborough, Brighton, Tunbridge Wells, Tonbridge, Ashford and Kent.
If your child or teenager needs help with any anxiety- related problem, therapy can often help them. I have helped various children’s problems at my practice just outside of Battle, East Sussex.
*Please note that I no longer work with children but I hope you find the information on this page useful.
What causes childhood emotional problems?
Just like adults, children of all ages can suffer from emotional or psychological problems. Growing up can be difficult at times with all the new and challenging experiences life can bring. All experiences, especially new ones, generate emotions and sometimes the child just can’t deal with the emotions involved. This can be due to several factors including the child’s age, the intensity of the emotion they are feeling, and/or whether they feel emotionally supported by their family. When this happens, the emotions can remain unresolved, causing inner conflict. This conflict can cause any number of physical / behavioural or emotional problems. As a result, unresolved emotions can cause anxiety and stress. These can also have the ‘knock-on’ effect of making existing conditions, such as asthma, eczema, unwanted habits, behavioural problems and similar, much worse.
Problems which can be helped
Problems which may be helped include:
- ‘ADHD’: this is not a medical or genetic condition (although there may be genetic predispositions, such as high sensitivity, which may be helped or hindered by the child’s environment) but a cluster of symptoms which usually arise from the child (or adult) having a chronically dysregulated nervous system. Dr Gabor Mate writes and presents on this issue very well. Please click here for more on ADHD
- anger problems
- anxiety and panic
- asthma & eczema
- bed-wetting (enuresis) and daytime ‘accidents’: when this is happening past successful toilet-training, assuming there is no infection or hormonal issue present, it is often an indication that the child does not feel safe/secure
- behavioural problems
- birth difficulties/trauma – Note: cranial osteopathy for babies/infants can be effective following such events.
- eating problems
- exam/test nerves
- fears & phobias**
- hair/eyelash pulling
- nail biting/thumb sucking
- school problems
- stress-related problems
- and more.
These problems may start at some point following a traumatising event, such as a traumatising birthing; the child needing a operation or having a serious illness; being involved in (or witness to) a car accident or similar; losing a parent through divorce or death; a parent having a serious illness/accident. There are other similar overwhelming events that may traumatise a child.
What if my child hasn’t experienced a one-off trauma?
Unless your child or teen has experienced a ‘one off’ significant, negative event as noted above, it is extremely rare to have anxiety-related problems without there being existing or past problems within the family unit. It is important to understand that psychological/emotional problems don’t develop in a vacuum. This is true for both adults (who of course were once children themselves) and children.
Examples include:
- a parent with a serious illness
- a special needs family member
- a parent with their own emotional problems such as anxiety, depression or anger issues
- one or both parents has a drink (or other substance) problem
- one or both parents has an addiction problem e.g. internet, social media, shopping gambling etc taking a lot of their time and attention
- redundancy and / or other money worries
- problems in the parental relationship perhaps causing stress in the home environment – e.g. loud arguments / rows
- having an achievement-oriented parent(s)
- or other stresses/upsets.
In such circumstances, it is usually the case that the best results for the child will be obtained with either one or both parents receiving some form of therapy help themselves. Or you may consider family therapy session if the child is old enough. Assuming enough work is done, it will help parents to be in a better place to help their child/teen one-on-one with their problems. Approaching such issues as being solely the child’s problem tends not to be very successful.
**NOTE: I am often asked for help for children suffering with a fear of sick / emetophobia. In 20 years of being a therapist and working with this problem, it has so far NEVER turned out to actually be about sick. This is a complex phobia with many root causes. The most common is that there is usually a fair amount of stress and/or chaos in the family home, for various reasons. Often one or both parents have issues with controlling their temper. This negatively impacts the child’s developing nervous system and this phobia can be the end result. Unfortunately, children don’t tend to have the emotional maturity to work through the causes. However, they can learn basic calming, grounding and distraction techniques which will help. This phobia especially is where family therapy should be seriously considered. Click here for more: Emetophobia.
Lifespan Integration
One method of helping with children’s problems is by using Lifespan Integration: for info please click here. This therapy approach is very useful at helping a child or adolescent to resolve and heal the after-effects of e.g. parental divorce, the death of a parent/loved one, a serious illness or accident, a significant medical procedure, or any other adverse, negative or traumatic events they may have experienced.
Younger children will have therapy with one or both parents/carers in attendance but attention is focused on the child. Children and adolescents usually respond well to this therapy. This therapy is suitable for most children aged between 8 and 18 years of age although it may be possible to offer the therapy to children outside of this age range.
Lifespan Integration usually needs just one or two sessions to resolve a single negative experience or trauma. As mentioned above though, if the child has not experienced a single significant event as described, the likelihood is that their issues are as a result of family/parenting patterns, or parents having their own issues, which are having a detrimental effect on them.
If the problem your young child or teenager is experiencing is not listed above please contact me to discuss the situation.
All children under the age of 16 must be accompanied by a parent or guardian. As with all IAEBP members, I am fully DBS checked.
Useful reading
Finally, I can recommend several books which parents can use to find help for children’s problems. All should be available via Amazon or similar
- Stress Busting for Children by Rita Sparks
- No Drama Discipline by Dr Dan Siegel
- The Whole Brain Child by Dr Dan Siegel
- Why Love Matters by Sue Gerhardt
Read feedback from parents of a teenager with a fear of being sick (emetophobia) here
There are more testimonials here
