Helping Female Sexual Problems: Vaginismus, Low Sex Drive, Fear of Sex with Psychotherapy, Hypnotherapy & Cognitive Therapy at 1066 Therapy
covering East Sussex, Battle, Hastings, Bexhill, Rye, Heathfield, Hailsham, Eastbourne, Crowborough, Brighton, Tunbridge Wells, Tonbridge, Ashford and Kent.
I am frequently consulted by women with all kinds of female sexual problems and dysfunctions and I have helped them successfully using psychotherapy, hypnotherapy and cognitive therapy. Problems have included vaginismus, low sex drive, inability to orgasm/come, sexual phobia, fear of sex/intimacy and similar.
I have helped women of all ages at my therapy practice just outside of Battle, East Sussex.
Female sexual problems can be one of the most difficult things to seek help for and to talk about and, because of this, many women ‘suffer in silence’ over a long period of time and can feel quite isolated with their problem.
Despite our so-called liberated society there is a still a bit of a ‘taboo’ atmosphere surrounding problems of a sexual nature and/or they can be the subject of many a joke! However, these problems nevertheless exist; there’s nothing funny about it when someone has such a problem, and they are, in fact, surprisingly common in women of all ages.
Before attending any therapy for female sexual problems, it is best to have a medical check to ensure there is no physical/organic reason for the problem. Assuming the medical check reveals no problems, it makes sense that the cause of the female sexual problems is most likely to be psychological or emotional in nature, making it a psycho-sexual problem (they are known as psycho-sexual problems in the absence of any organic/physiological reason for them).
Most, if not all, women who have a sexual problem or dysfunction, also have other problems such as low confidence or low self-esteem; or a fear of being judged or criticised; or they worry about what others think of them for example – these issues are signs of social anxiety. Or perhaps they feel down because of their female sexual problem which only makes matters worse. In some cases there will be a problem in the relationship which will be causing or contributing to the problem.
Further information on the most common female sexual problems which I am consulted for is listed below:
Vaginismus ~ This is the medical name for a painful condition in which the vaginal muscles contract making penetrative sex either very difficult and painful, or impossible. Vaginismus can be primary, where a woman has never been able to have pain-free sexual intercourse, or secondary. Primary vaginismus is often discovered during teenage years when a girl may have been unable to use tampons or to have an internal examination due to the pain or, indeed, the fear of pain. Secondary Vaginismus is where sex has been possible in the past but has since become painful or impossible. For some women, there is an underlying fear of pregnancy causing or contributing to this problem.
Low Libido/Low Sex Drive ~ This is also known as Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder and is one of the most common sexual problems for women. Our libido or sex drive is basically what determines how often we want sex. This disorder can be characterised as either ‘general’ where a woman has a general lack of sexual desire or it can be ‘situational’ where they can still have sexual desires but just not for their current partner. The problem may also be classed as either ‘life-long’, where they have always had a low sexual desire, or it can be ‘acquired’ where they have previously enjoyed “normal” sex drives but they now have a problem. A low libido can be an indication of many factors, such as boredom in a relationship, or a dis-interest in their current partner, or stress, or depression, or a reaction to some medications, or a slow recovery following an illness, or going through the perimenopause and so on.
Anorgasmia/Orgasmic Dysfunction ~ This is the term for when a woman cannot come or achieve orgasm during sexual intercourse or foreplay. As with vaginismus, this problem can either be primary or secondary. Primary anorgasmia is where a woman has never been able to come/have an orgasm. In this situation it can be the case that the woman finds the rest of sex to be exciting and pleasurable despite the fact that they do not have an orgasm. Secondary anorgasmia is where they have previously been able to achieve orgasm but now are unable to do so. Whilst having an orgasm, or not, appears to have no influence over whether we can get pregnant or not (which is the good news), the inability to come tends to lead to a lower desire to have sex generally and can be frustrating, especially in cases where orgasm has been experienced in the past. As with a low libido, anorgasmia can be caused by some medications, illnesses and so on.
Fear/Strong Dislike of Sex ~ The fear of sexual intercourse is termed ‘coitophobia’ which is a persistent and abnormal fear of sex. This problem is also known as Sexual Aversion Disorder. This problem can be due to a fear of failure in some way during sex, and this fear can lead to further problems such as erectile dysfunction in men and anorgasmia in women. It may also be due to a fear of experiencing pain, especially when thinking of having sex for the first time, or if there is an association with a previous time when sex was painful. Some women could have enjoyed a ‘normal’ sex life for years and suddenly “out of the blue” they develop a fear or strong dislike of sex for no apparent reason. Women who suffer from this problem tend to try to avoid all forms of intimacy – kissing, cuddling etc – because of the worry that it might lead to an expectation of full sex. And for some women, there is an underlying fear of pregnancy causing or contributing to this problem.
There are other female sexual problems including:
- Frigidity, otherwise known as Female Sexual Arousal Disorder, where a woman does not get properly aroused during foreplay and sex;
- Dyspareunia where a woman experiences pain during or after sex;
- Female Hyperactive Sexual Desire Disorder which is the opposite to having a low sex drive and is when a woman almost constantly desires sex.
As most non-physical causes of sexual problems are usually deep-seated and long-standing, ‘ordinary’ hypnotherapy (usually referred to as Suggestion Therapy or Clinical Hypnosis) will not be effective except perhaps for a very short period of time. Whatever the specific sexual problem is, it is almost always the case that other (underlying and/or connected) issues will need to be worked on and resolved in order to improve the sexual problem.
I offer different approaches for this (and every problem) and the choice of which one (or more) to take depends on the individual and their circumstances – the decision is usually made during the initial consultation.
Please browse my site for information on the various therapies / approaches that I practise.
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Call me now on 07722783490 or 01424 772392 to book your free 30 minute initial consultation.